Archive

2019

they also do not have the money for a lawyer ah shit where's me horses maybe not a dining table but like a real nice coffee table
nah BY DUSK I'M GETTIN' READY seven pizzas tho, that's impressive Destrier?! I hardly knew her!
can I get mine with no cheese you dont wanna know what Ursula charged him for that Granma here's a twenny
maybe my friend Mr Twenny Dol can change your mind make a LinkedIn profile ✓ Take up jiu jitsu. also stole your pension

2018

if you want to destroy my sweater, hold this thread as I can show you the world In Soviet Russia, you choose camera. can't wait for the sequel oh wait, there I go
lemme see my list again real quick BUSINESS. no spoilers please, I'm waiting for the movie ♫ look at me ♫
also how did that one get so big FIRST: GEESE. SECOND: WASPS. hunned dollar biils, hunned dollar bills, hunn'd-hunn'd-hunne-hunned dollar bills swiggity swail, I ain't goin to jail
MADE YOUR BED So... do you like sports? Or what
coming out soon on Steam in space noone can hear you do a runner be reasonable. Cerberus come by my office first thing Monday.
crime crime crime they didn't have google back then or anything Look out world! 98 OR BUST
we glue too close to the sun once enemies, now friends EIGHTH SOUP LET ME GO
SOMEONE GET HER WALLET! THANKS FOR COMING. SHIRTS AVAILABLE. Ah-weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee feasting on the footpath, turtle power
Unicorns HATE her! Learn this one simple trick! I *WILL* REVERSE THOSE CHARGES Hat:1 Sad:0
none of that... or any of the others! butts by moonlight THAT'S THE DINOSAUR LET'S NOT LOOK AT HIM HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID [FLEEING SOUND]
Wild Lis thrive on a diet of nuts and small insects any questions? Do I have an account? I got an email about it Welcome to the Blame Jam
... and a cookie!

2017

my name is cat / I'm on the run / don't call police / I'LL CUT YA mooOOOOOOoon we get it Dave, you're in a band
Job? Not job. YOU ARE BANNED FROM WISE OWL I like DANGER.
yeh it's fine, get out there #knifelife He's not ready for Nibbly Pig!
oh no goodbye ok goodnight mum don't alt-text alt-text alt-text
Li of House Chen, the First of Her Name, The Sunburnt, Queen of the Pigeons, the Rabbits and the Round Dogs, Queen of Icecream, Deputy of the TCD, Protector of Around, Breaker of Trains and Mother of Kittens. top dumb-face, that's what that is No? Mosquitoman? what are ya, Fido of Troy?
the secret ingredient is secrets Ants are found on all continents except Antarctica. home is where Ground Control tells you it is
bok bokbok bok bok deals like this don't slime along everyday do you know about halo that's a game that I do The hills have questions.
That's MY toothbrush, I've already told you. You don't even have proper teeth! Count your eggs once, shame on you. Count your eggs twice, cut once ;) back to you, Shoelace!
now you've fuckin' done it Saul. Saul, this means something OK, NOW BRING HER BACK you can also never have too many mechanical keyboards
*Limit one per customer (╯°□°）╯⬤-* omg omg #kingofit fuwafuwa taimu
Eggy hears ya, Eggy don't care YES YES YES YES YES YES YES what kind of monster tags a snail?
how would you rate your arrest experience? it doesn't smell cursed... Thanks, Treedad!
*produces fork* alright, what are we having?

2016

Santa Claus, also known as Saint Nicholas, Saint Nick, Kris Kringle, Father Christmas, Shoelace, or simply Santa (Santy in Hiberno-English), is a surprisingly diminutive figure of Western culture who is said to bring gifts and scratches to the homes of well-behaved ( but I'll keep ya not beached, just visiting
crimes of this size are out of my jurisdiction cPhone do you want another one? yeah you do do you have one? can I borrow it?
top marks, you you admire, you acquire Diamonds are Expensive - The World is Plenty, Thanks - You Only Live Nine Times - The Man with the Golden Buns - Quantum of Shoelace
science you've failed me again thank you for coming
my body's sayin' let's go, but my heart is sayin' bzzzzzzz muri muri muri muri muri muri muri <`)))><
flaunt your butt-plumage elsewhere, sir 9/10 doctors recommend sad n' saucy
Hubble Space Telescope: After Hours tiny memes 2cool
I'm a cloud and what is this Coat of Ambivalence +1 is this how?
maximum dine, minimum fine. sugoi NEIN
take that, world next, let the onions off the hook this side's all partied out close enough
yeah, get that spoon outta here ya tart bastard it's gettin' serious
good as new I guess there's nothing real wrong with in front of the scenes objects in the future are closer than they appear yeah, you

2015

Happy Holidays! I mean, you know? ... oven hawt
go on, get your butt over there prampkin? ... you've gotta ask yourself one question:
A flock of dicks great that cat butt prosthetics have come so far though Jordan says this comic could be about javascript but it's not it's about hammers team.
I mean, what you gonna say? also, wasps DON
ring, ring... is this police a little bit space, a little bit time DO YOU HAVE A DISEASE
As you can see, we have several options Onlookers displeased, impressed oh just bird stuff? That's cool I guess maximum do; minimum mass
Fancy Night Inn boop boop boop boop boop...ring-ring ring-ring...beep beep beep :( creemeenal
Yes. DO ANIMALS LIKE ME? Unless the song is Monster Mash. Wah-ooooh. GREAT STICK pls
Lucky for you I'm a detective Now please follow me to the Mechanical Keyboard Gallery. Bring chips. how about it
are you a dragon jeeg grumbly leavings I'm not a sea wizard
top top moddle snip snap snop
no I don't believe it rustle rustle rustle

2014

lion I can't resist just pick 'em and eat 'em, no need to check
I'm not that kind of wizard. Thanks, Rob.
I'll be in the box I just have to know
FASCINATING.
Laze Team why do chickens have those things Too Large; Didn't Retrieve
Hello, this is Tech Support, you have a potassium deficiency. Get out. BABE NO. NO BABE WAIT. PLS BABE NO. Oh yah? Yaaah.
maybe I am a chip shop, let me check Get outta here, memories! ALL MAH LOIFE
No, no, listen to me - less beauty, more pigeons! We better get outta here before it rains Fool me once, totally worth it, got a sweet present
Signs of non-integer spin only available to Level Ten traffic officers also, give back my pajamas Ugh, typical grumblechicken why doesn't that guy just get a life already I mean come on Thank you, Jeeves. That will be all.
MAXIMUM GIVING GOD DAMN FRUIT CUPS MY ONLY VICE World's most acclaimed catbutt player Just sugar with your fingers, I guess
You gotta try it at least once, I'm telling you

2013

I have a sword and I know things. THIS IS A TECHNIQUE THAT I HAVE PERFECTED OVER SEVERAL YEARS THIS IS THE SPOT
Gavel man, banging out his gav up here alone EXCUSE ME, I BELIEVE I SAID SOME DAY, BIG DEAL so incredible, much edible
I SAID DON'T BE LIKE THIS, GODDAMN DON'T BE LIKE THIS If you can read this, you're doing it wrong :) Crime life.
Doctor: 2, Patients: 0 Fire Crab, I CAN'T BELIEVE I TRUSTED YOU shhhhhhhhhhhhh cone Li Chen, PhD, class of 20X6
BFF GET Do a lil' hedge, make a lil' hog, get down tonight Et tu, clam Hungry Scary Tales
Fine, then I love Coronation Street. Can you melt that? I diagnosed this rabbit with whacked out poo-brain five minutes ago. and a free sample of Full-on Feeling! I couldn't be happier.
Kaeshite. Kaeshite kudasai. Forgot Newton's Cradle, googled desk balls, was successful I'm not a real doctor, and I'm not a real worm either. Go on, find.
Being the best Jordan he can be what about when cats run too fast on smooth floors and drift sideways shake shake shake, shake your booty
My hands are too buttery to tell secrets now One Magical Dolphin Day, please. Plus candy floss. Eggs? No, I just live here. Nobody expects the bubble-to-bubble thoughtkitten transfer tuck technique
This has been a cautionary tale. Thanks for your time. Almost No Hat™ Tabe's have turned and I like it
Take the wheel, Shoelace This bun cleft, bereft. Release the fruits ya broke me herpetologist's wand
I've gone too far too soon ((((((((wtf-is this)))))))) Two sleeves is too many; that's melon time you're wastin' This is my bucket. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
OH GOD I NEED DIS But mostly I'm just sleeping

2012

Wiz, Harry Today is the greatest day I've ever known. Smash pump. iasnlid
WHY I EYES YA Chips. HEAPS of chips. Dem buns O B E Y
Question one: If not, how come? Never. Never tells. Sorry, please play again
Graping is the hardest part How could one dog stup so hard ERNJ SERIOUSLY THOUGH, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH PYTHON
Daily. Close enough / TROUBLEMS
Dinnerin' time Visually. You ruse, you raff What's this, lunch for CATS‽
I'm not even tryin' and I'm grabbin' Good hustle, everyone! Actually I'm going to level with you. I don't have more. It's not in, or you. I'm going to be needing it back slump up on 'em
THIS IS MAH JOB Creepin' erryday Don't feed a guy a sponge, Bobby! I'm not a real doctor, but I am a real worm
REWIEND Bees are overrated ALL THAT TIME Gentlemen, this is also my smooching face
It never gets any easier Dat thing Just jabbin' ya
I think I'll have fruit salad tomorrow ʘ‿ʘ | (• ◡•) | (❍ᴥ❍ʋ) ☑ Face WHERE'S MY MONEY
Why does it have to be this way I hate it when I have fruit flavour lollies and I think the green one is apple but it's secretly lime and then I'm a sad Don't be loungin' ShameBox™
Well, we found the problem - your box is a car. That'll be $800. Starter: A trio of skittles Main: Cereal terrine, served with a selection of crayons Dessert: Yes. Flavin'

2011

Merry Christmas! ^_^ Gone, forev I'm so mad at you I could piss glue ................ _@y
Siri, what's the alt text? Part of your delicious terribly! No alt text >:( ANATA WA, CINEMA, MITEIMASU FOREVER
That's a circlin' That's totally a real 3D puzzle of Saturn that we really got If you can read this, you're doing it wrong How does alt text make you feel?
suddenly Sometimes I think about how big space is and it really freaks me out Cat Magic™ /╲/\ºo;88;oº/\╱\
Hold all my calls, I'm RAD. I am six and what is this oh god how did this get here I am not good with computer WING WING. HEWWO?
And that's why you don't hug bears New Zealand... why not? Next week: neko koneko MERSHED PERDERDER
One is the loneliest gangsta Nah. I hate Past Li almost as much as I hate Joffrey Baratheon Aaaaaaaaaaalt teeeeeeeeeext
Play it cool. Here come the space cops. ☃ Happles by mail™
Lemon, lemon, lemon, lemon, lemon, lemon, lemon. I'm TWO hundred percent lemon. TEA. Look how shiny his coat is Beans beans beans beans, I want you in my dreams, lets spend the night together, from now until forever.
If I could make alt text small then this would be small too. Ding! Comic 171.5: Li rolled and rolled, and eventually got hungry and went home again Stop looking for alt text all the time. Jeez.
Ne ne ...... 169 Haters gonna hate
Confirmed. Just get out. Secret song, I can't believe it's you
Preeeeeeoooooooooww

2010

Unrelated note: going to see the new Harry Potter movie tonight, yay! I don't even like ham
Quack. Cereal again huh? Sand....wich?
I can pretty much punch anything into space But.... nom? Bling, I has it I saw one at the zoo. It was moustachey.
Pfft Jordan, real turtles don't eat sandwiches Stop looking at Shoelace's balls ಠ_ಠ Puffs it
I was the turkey all along! All my Facebook friends grew from the same potato. True story. 142 :D I'm wearing a tie so you know I mean business.
Inspired by Escher, because he is awesome Aha, sadface. O.O
It's serious business ಠ_ಠ I made garlic soup today. Just in case you wanted to know. They also make good helmets
Beees! duck duck *deep breath* duck duck duck duck Moooooooon Available from all leading supermarkets near you
C'mon, not even a papercut? I don't sound like that either. Face full of balls. He's not even a cool robot. He doesn't transform into a car or anything.
Myeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhh So smawl Jordan, are you hiding a beard in your face?
Jordan tells the best stories i'm ten times cuter than this in real life Look at you, you needy alt text addict silly rabbit...
counterclockwise feels better than clockwise I see your pair and raise you a shoelace

2009

© Li Chen 2019